An Art History Poem

Just for fun! Enjoy an “art history poem” that takes us back to a place that may have been looking forward.

Art History

A poem by Gregg Kreutz

Back when caves were dark and scary
Cavemen liked to keep it hairy
Hairiness, in fact, was the extent
of their attire

In those caves then there was fighting
over insufficient lighting
till they figured out how rubbing sticks
could start a fire.

Once they got the conflagration
giving off illumination
they were shocked to see the sorry state
of their decor

Ribs and hoofs and broken thigh-bones,
lots of scattered wet and dry bones
made a look that’s best described as
Early Carnivore

Walls as well were unappealing
and the unappealing ceiling
offered zero beauty to Cro-Magnons
down below.

All agreed the sight was dismal.
No debate; it looked abysmal
How to make it better though
nobody seemed to know.

Soon they all began to bicker
as their heavy brows got thicker
“What would give this cave,” they asked
“Some decorative appeal?”

Some were up for random splotches
Some said let’s do multicolored blotches
Then a voice said, “Why not try
depicting something real?

Why not paint a horse or rhino,
subjects that both you and I know.
Mastodons or bison or some deer.

We could have them run or feeding
Paint a herd of them stampeding
If we’re lucky what we paint might
even last a year.”

Everybody stood there gaping.
“This”, they said, “is surely shaping
up to be the worst idea that we have
ever heard.

Far from making us euphoric
This idea is prehistoric
Painting wild animals is frankly too absurd.

Who wants art that’s realistic?
Blobs and dots are more artistic
Let’s break down our inhibitions,
Overcome our blocks.”

(This is just a rough translation
at that time a conversation
tended more to grunting and occasionally to rocks.)

They continued their discussion
With occasional concussion
What started then is controversial still today

Does what’s real really matter?
Is it just as good to splatter?
Are the two approaches each as valid in their way?

While that debate may tend to bore us
Thirty thousand years before us
Someone thought that animals were
More than just a meal

Someone wondered when they saw them
Whether they could paint or draw them
Someone said let’s make these walls
A celebration of what’s real.

GREGG KREUTZ is a painter, poet, and author whose two books, Problem Solving for Oil Painters and Oil Painting Essentials, are published by Watson-Guptill. For more, visit his daughter Phoebe Kreutz’s YouTube channel (Caveman Caveman).

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